There may be a reason why she is not interested in you, it could be several reasons. Keep these tips in mind on your next appointment.
First dates are almost always fun
Everything is new, both are attracted and there is no rush to reach realistic agreements about a relationship.
However, the first few days are more important than you think, What you do at the beginning of the relationship (and yes, you should see it as a relationship and not just a series of dates). In other words, there is not much room for mistakes as you think, what you do at that moment can make the difference between something casual or formal.
If you have trouble maintaining interest after a month or more, you may be making one (or more) of these mistakes.
Wait for her to make the first move
It’s the 21st century (in theory women can ask men out), but that’s no excuse for you to sit on the couch and wait for the phone to ring. According to dating coach JT Tran, “women like to be pursued.” «Waiting for a woman to take the initiative is a losing battle. It can happen, but most likely not.
Not paying on first dates
In our modern society, the question who pays the bill? it seems complicated. But it is not, according to Thomas, “some gender roles are just deeply ingrained.” Also, “on the first dates you have to show that you can take charge.” Paying the bill on first dates doesn’t mean bankruptcy, if you can’t afford three fancy dinners, take her on a picnic or to the museum.
Pay for everything
Once you’ve established that you can take over, you can stop digging through your wallet. “On the fourth date, pause and give her room for her to take over,” says Thomas. “You have to show that you can take care of her, but if you pay for everything you will look like her dad.” She is not looking for that and will appreciate if you let her take over from time to time.
Show off your CV
Making a list of all the amazing things you’ve done or accomplished might seem like a surefire way to impress her, it’s not. “Men are brought up to believe that their value lies in what they do,” explains Thomas. “However, she wants to date you, not hire you.” Women have a hard time connecting with men who are always promoting themselves. Instead of talking about what you do, tell him what you feel, how you experience life, what interests you and what inspires you.
Not be yourself
Do you think you can impress a woman with well spoken phrases? You’re wrong, Thomas points out. Even if you do it right then, if you keep pretending, she won’t stay. “Pretending to be something you are not is fear at work,” he adds. “It implies that you feel insecure about yourself.” So you can fool her for a while, but not forever.
Confusing a good working relationship with attraction
Dating a coworker isn’t a great idea, but it happens. But before you approach your gorgeous colleague at the office, you need to be able to identify what drives the attraction. “People regularly create bonds of survival,” explains Thomas. Let’s say you both have a lousy boss or the company you work for is undergoing changes. Don’t confuse closeness with attraction. Try this: ask her out when they’re out of the office.
Run before walking
Some women love romantic gestures, others don’t. So if you’re starting to date one, chances are you have no idea what ranking it is in. So before you show up on their doorstep with 50 red roses, chocolates, balloons, and a teddy bear, as if celebrating Earth’s last Valentine’s Day, think that you could be putting too much pressure on them. You’re procuring her, so she may think that you expect her to do something to procure you. explains Tran.
Talk too much about you
Everyone loves to talk about themselves. That includes you, it also includes her. “The women in my office complain all the time that the men in their lives don’t ask them questions and aren’t interested in answering the ones they ask,” says Thomas. The thing is like this: if you ask her something about her, be prepared to interact (if you don’t, you will look like a fool). And if the answer bores you, maybe it’s time to evaluate the relationship.
Your 120 Twitter followers can live without you. If you are on a date, forbidden to tweet, update Facebook, check in or upload photos to Instagram. “Turn off anything that has to do with electronics and get involved,” “There is nothing more important than the connection that you are going to create with your date and that is achieved by being really present.”
“Making quick interpretations of their words and actions can do a lot of damage,”. You will end up assigning negative meanings to what he does or says. i suggests taking your actions as objectively as possible (taking three hours to reply to a text message means that it took three hours to reply to a text message).
Give up too fast
You ask her out, she said no, to something else then right? Well no! Sales expert Grant Cardone says you need to be “creative, confident, and positive.” Going after a woman the same way you go after a client may seem like a stretch, not to Cardone. “You’ll only seem desperate if you try the same thing more than once,” he explains.
To avoid falling into the ‘friend zone’: speak. ‘Men fall into the’ friend zone ‘because they don’t clarify what they feel,’ explains Thomas. “They don’t want to spoil the relationship by putting all the cards on the table, but it’s this attitude of not wanting to clear it up that thwarts their plans.” Most likely, they won’t jump into your arms right then, but they will definitely respect you for being sincere.
Wait for the perfect woman
Does not exist! “All women come with flaws and problems,”. ‘Don’t dismiss it right away. Go out with her from the point of view of what she has to offer you and her qualities, unless you always want to stay single. ‘